If you are living in the UK, then you will most likely be familiar with the tv show never mind the buzzcocks. if you are not, then you are probably not. 😉
For those who are not, here is a little introduction. never mind the buzzocks is a so-called panel show. something which is a pretty popular format there. one reason being, that they are so cheap to produce, but that’s a completely different matter altogether. anyway, it consists of a panel (duh), with one team sitting on one side, the other one on the opposing side and a moderator in the middle. it usually deals with a specific theme, for example “9 out of 10 cats” deal with statistic, “QI” deals with science and art, and “buzzcocks” obviously deals with music. each panel show consists of an array of games, usually reoccurring ones, surrounding around the general theme of the show, with both teams competing with each other. the main goal of those show is mainly of humorous nature, with contestants only partly trying to give the right answers, but rather try to make funny, if possible wisecrack answers.
Personally I like buzzcocks, it is one of the better panel shows and with me being a music fanatic all my life, it is especially refreshing since each team has a different music artist as a guest-pannelist, which is especially fun if it is someone you don’t usually see on tv or in the context of such show.
Nevertheless, one particular reoccupying game is rather questionable. it is called „the identity parade“. it works like this: a bunch of people enter the room, to build a lineup. they are all dressed in a similar way and one of them is a “former” star, often from a one-hit-wonder act, with the panelist having to guess which one is the former star. the whole row is up for grabs to mockery through the panelists, which might suit the overall tone of the show, since the contestants constantly mock each other and the artists that are brought up in the quiz questions, but it is something completely different to do that to someone that is not able to talk back.
A while ago the producers of the show tried to get jim bob of “carter the unstoppable sex machine” fame. while not necessarily being the superstars that they were in the 90s, they still have a cult status and a more than solid fan base, not to speak of successful solo careers and still fill enormous rooms, if they want to. so, they are anything else, but one-hit-wonders of the past.
Therefore the manager of Jimbob declined the offer. why is that mentionworthy? because of the way that he declined it. please, read for yourself. personally, I nearly wet myself when I read it the first time.
I hope you are well this sunny Friday.
Thank you for your email but I will cut to the chase like a man with a crazy axe. The answer is very much a ‘no’. And not any old ‘no’. A ‘no’ that is a little weary and sad. Perhaps this ‘no’ is even a tad disappointed.
You are probably wondering why Mr No. isn’t full of the joys of this late Summers day? It may be to do with the fact that this is the seventh (I am guessing this number, but it seems as good as any and I like the number seven) time Jim has been asked. That may explain the lethargy of his refusal? Who can tell? Numbers aren’t the easiest people to work out at times.
Anyway, I have always enjoyed ‘Never Mind The Buzzcocks’ (especially the Simon Amstell period – did you see his sitcom ‘Grandma’s House’? An underrated gem!). As a viewer though, and you as an exec producer I think we can both agree that the section of the show isn’t always that kind to the person on parade. At times it’s almost like laughing at a disabled person who has fallen out of a wheelchair. But don’t feel bad – it isn’t as bad or exploitative as The X Factor as you do things like pay expenses. Money can often change everything! You have to pay your own expenses to look like a banana on Simon Cowell’s cavalcade of crudeness.
In my humble opinion I think Jim is too good for this part of your show. That sounds arrogant but I
don’t think that’s a bad thing. At times I don’t think the British are arrogant enough. We should say what we mean more perhaps? It hasn’t done the Americans any harm, but I digress. You may not know this (why would you? You aren’t God. You can’t know everything!) but Carter still play sell out gigs at venues like the Brixton Academy. 5,000 people pay £25 British pounds to see them, at just that one show. In Scotland we only charge £20 as they aren’t so flash with the cash up there. An amazing fact – they even headlined the Beautiful Days festival recently to 20,000 odd people. Don’t get me wrong it was full of old crusty dudes but they paid over a hundred quid to get in. So not to be sniffed at eh?
Jim also has a successful solo career and is about to release his eighth album (I probably have that figure wrong too and Jim will sack me. Numbers schmumbers). He may not sell as many compact discs as U2 but he does what I would class as ‘ok’. And unlike Bono he isn’t going bald. Nor does he always wear sunglasses. If he goes on the identity parade he may as well say on the show “This is the only bit of publicity I can get to push my new album that nobody cares about. Please mention my new album, it will make the hilarious jokes about my old haircut all be worthwhile.” But of course he couldn’t say that because I don’t think you allow the Identity Paraders to speak. Good job too ***. Most pop stars just talk rubbish! As it is though Jim already has a fair bit of publicity planned so I don’t think we need to do this. I won’t lie, it could be better. The One Show won’t book him and that gets six million viewers. They are fuckers quite frankly. Six Music are a lot more amenable you’ll be pleased to know.
The last thing to mention that Jim also is now an author and is onto his third novel, and his latest with a major publisher. This isn’t ‘Barry’s Books’ giving Jim 20p to write some load of old tosh. This is one of the big publishing guns giving him shit loads of money (he won’t tell me how much exactly to avoid paying me properly) to write his new tome. You wouldn’t find J K Rowling up on Parade. And now Jim is a published author I have a motto “Only do what the Harry Potter lady would do”. I think this will hold him in good stead.
That is it from me you’ll be pleased to know. Sorry for such a long response but before you emailed I was having to do something with numbers and budgets and it was hurting my noggin. I think I am doing that deflection thing my psychiatrist often talks about.
Anyway, have a great weekend ***. I hope it brings you happiness and general warm vibes.